#30x Day 1 of my 4.30am experiment

I am not a morning person, but I had to give this a shot. My silent alarm buzzed and I frantically tapped on it to shut it off. I bought a Fitbit especially for this experiment as I wanted a quiet way to wake up without disturbing my wife. My reptilian brain was on full throttle before I rolled out from under the covers. "why don't we start on a Monday?" "do you think this will make any difference in your life at all?" "go ahead and sleep in, it's 1.5 hours more sleep" I continued to move in the dark and reached for my exercise clothes, placed the night before at the top of the stairs on my way down to the basement, where I will spend the next hour working out, journaling and meditating. From there, I will make my way to the office to write for the remaining time before my 2 year old starts to scream.

I could definitely feel the pain in between my eyes especially after the workout. Remind you, this was the first official workout after the birth of my son. I popped in our old but trusty T25 exercise dvd and zoned out for the next 25 minutes. It felt really good. Sean T. utterly kicked my ass and I was soaking wet after the session. The 4.30am experiment started because I needed to find some time to workout, but ultimately I also wanted to try meditating and other morning routines. I wanted to see if I could have the feeling of accomplishment before 6 a.m. Just like what all the "gurus" say about morning routines. In reality I had no choice; with a toddler in the family and me feeling utterly exhausted at the end of the day, any time I want to myself needed to come in the morning.

Next, I meditated with the help of the Headspace app. I must admit, closing my eyes felt great, and even though I was all sweaty and my heart was still pounding, I welcomed the rest for my weary eyes. The 5 min period was not easy, with many thoughts flying around, most of which was my inner voice again "are you really going to do this tomorrow?" "you should just stop now" I know my inner voice would resist, but I never thought it would be this strong.

Journaling was cathartic, as I scribbled down what my inner voice was saying to me and then made it visually clear why I was doing this.

If I want to be somewhat fit and healthy, there is no choice. This needs to happen, and everything I'm doing is for me. I can care less if no one reads a word I'm writing. I need to exercise and this morning time is for me.

Tiptoeing to the office gave me anxiety as I didn't want to wake my son. The worst thing were the creaky wood floors, which were the loudest outside his room, right before I entered the office. I slid into the office, sat down and paused to listen. All clear. As soon as I started typing, it felt fantastic and the time just flew by, really, 45 min is not enough, but it's all I have right now. And just like clockwork, the wailing started at 5.58 am. 

My forehead continued to throb and my eyes stung as I opened his door.

"Good morning sunshine!"

#30xhowie chan4.30am